Learn what makes it easier to forgive.
Do you find it hard to forgive?
Do you wonder why some people find it easy to forgive those who wronged them?
I am one of those who can easily forgive others.
But there was a time in my life when I found it hard to forgive someone who I felt used me. It took me months.
I was so hurt I wished that the person won’t find true happiness in life.
I probably prayed unconsciously to have the pain go away so I could forgive the person. I know I didn’t include it in my daily prayers. After a few months, I just found myself unaffected anymore. The pain was gone completely. And I have totally forgiven the person.
Things got better for me.
I realized that if you’re happy with the way things are going in your life, it’s easier to forget the pains of the past. And it’s easier to forgive the people who wronged you in the past. I tend to believe that people who find it hard to forgive are very unhappy people with so many issues in life.
When things got better for me, forgiveness came because I felt that God sided with me and blessed me and I felt vindicated.
But it doesn’t always happen that you will be blessed in life after being wronged. And if blessings come, they usually don’t come right away.
There must be something else that makes it easier to forgive.
Having gone through many humbling experiences, I learned that what makes it easier to forgive is humility.
Pride is what makes it hard to forgive.
Pride is why we get offended so easily.
We see ourselves as someone better than most people. We pride ourselves of our many achievements. We believe we have the right to be treated in a good way, if not the best.
We believe that no one has the right to hurt us and when someone does, we feel the other person deserves to be punished. Because of pride, we find it hard to let go of the desire to get even. And so it’s hard for us to forgive.
We find it hard to forgive because we believe that the damage done to us is irreparable and we want the other person to suffer to the degree that we suffered. We think that the crime done to us has completely ruined our lives.
Our concerns are worldly. We worry that because of our painful experiences, we would have a hard time finding better jobs, our chance at success is wiped out and our dreams are totally crushed with no hope of being revived. But all these are mere speculations. We don’t know what would happen in the future. Only God does.
We judge based on our own limited understanding. We act as if we know better than God. This is plain pride!
Humility is what makes it easier to forgive.
But humility is hard to live for many of us.
If you’re a true Christian, if you understand your Catholic faith well, humility should be a normal part of your life. It should be easy for you to forgive.
It should be easy for you to say, “Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do.”
If you know your faith well, you would know the Catholic teaching on original sin and concupiscence, the inclination towards sin and evil.
Knowing the truth that each of us is weak and inclined to evil as a result of the original sin should make it easy for us to understand when others wrong us. To forgive should be our default reaction, completely trusting God who has complete control of everything and who can easily turn a bad situation to a better one.
As Christians, we should know that we are nothing if not for God’s grace. And this should keep our feet always on the ground. This should keep us humble.
It’s sad to note that many Christians are Christians only by name. True Christians, followers of Christ, embody true humility.
Many are ignorant of the truth. Many are heavily indoctrinated with the lies of the world. They see the world as a stage where they need to shine, to outshine everyone, where power, fame, luxury and wealth are the end goals.
Many Christians have forgotten that this world is temporary. Whatever happens here then should not really be that big deal to us unless it robs us of our eternity with God.
If somebody cheated on you, will it make you less deserving of eternal life with God? If somebody did something horrible to you, will that lessen your chance for eternal life with God? If not, then don’t fret about it too long. I know these things hurt. But stop there and remember that these people are weak and just like you before you learned the truth of Jesus.
The truth is it’s those people who hurt you, who cheated on you or did something horrible to you that are in danger of getting damned to eternal fire.
You should have mercy on those who hurt you and pray for them just like St. Maria Goretti.
Be careful about your reactions to others. Your reactions might lead you to hell. When you judge others, when you harbor some grudges, when you insult back someone who insulted you, when you take revenge – these reactions could lead you to an eternity in hell. So be very careful.
Be humble and forgive.
Forgive others and yourself. If you find it hard to forgive yourself, remember that you are also subject to concupiscence. Humble yourself before the Lord.
Forgive and be healed.
Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning the wrong deed. Forgiving is letting go of your pride and the desire to get even. Forgiving is allowing yourself to heal.
When you can’t forgive, the anger and the hurt are trapped in your heart and you suffer. The anger and hurt in you are like poisons and will make life miserable for you. Anger and other negative feelings can negatively affect your health.
When you forgive, you release the anger and the hurt and you are instantly healed. It’s like you are detoxed of poisons in your body.
Remember when you find it hard to forgive, it is because you are not being a true Christian. It is because you hold on to that deadly pride.
Learn to forgive easily. Learn humility.
When you see yourself as nothing without God, nothing offends you. And when nothing offends you, forgiveness is second nature.
Humility is indeed what makes it easier to forgive.
© 2015 Life Path of Love. All rights reserved.